I always thought that if I had faith and stayed true to myself, I would get the things I wanted in life. I've learned plenty from practicing this theory... Mainly that it's untrue and I'm seriously and completely naive. I get what I desire most and once I put all my faith and trust into it, it's ripped out from under me and I'm slapped in the face. I can't take being hurt anymore... My heart can't take the destruction... My sanity can't stand the betrayal... I'm tired of crying and I'm tired of hurting. Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy. Maybe I'm supposed to be alone. I guess, to avoid anymore pain, I need to come to terms with that. My heart has shut down before, it can do it again. Life is much easier when you don't feel anything... Of coarse, life isn't worth living without love, but I still have my family. I should take a break from keeping my heart available... If you wonder where it is, it's locked up in chains until someone earns the key.
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